June 10, 2009
You understand the elements of trust, and how to measure the potential that trust will occur. (See last month’s issue)
Now you want actionables!
Look at trust as something you are working toward. Don’t expect to have it right now, and don’t get frustrated if you don’t.
Work on making the relationship reliable by developing strongly communicated expectations. The most important communication skill:
Making & Keeping Agreements –
THE MOST CRITICAL SKILL IN TRUST-BUILDING!!
This involves the following:
– Stay away from fuzziness
(EX: “Let’s meet to talk about it soon.” Too fuzzy)
– Force clarity
(EX: “Okay, when would be a good time? Tuesday?”)
– Repeat the agreement you heard the other person make
(78% of missed expectations are due to misinterpreting what the other person said. This is avoidable. Use listening checks.)
– Make only agreements you can keep
(EX: Get good at saying “no” or “gotta think about it”)
– Clean up missed agreements
(EX: know that change happens, but renegotiate the new deal as soon as you see that you cannot keep the old one.)
ALL THESE are actionable, visible, measurable.
And ALL these, if performed consistently well, will lead to reliability and eventually trust.
And if, you hate the other person, and you never want to even begin to trust him (we all have experienced that to some degree), then leave trust alone, don’t make it a target. Shoot for Making & Keeping Agreements as a target. You’ll be more sane. 🙂
Thanks Atlanta Consulting Group
and The Cumberland Group
for this excerpt from The Trust Model