February 02, 2009
All kinds on non-verbals are observed and inferences are made during a meeting. Conversations that take place in the meeting are ineffective, or only scratch the surface.
There is no courage to discuss the REAL issue.
Illuminate what I call the conversation BEHIND the conversation.
- Listen at 3 levels for the REAL conversation
- what intent do you hear?
- what feelings do you hear?
- what content do you hear?
Adapted from Fierce Conversations by Susan Scott. Highly recommended.
- Acknowledge your observation
Various issues could be at play here. Put your view into words. Examples:
- “Assignments are not getting completed between meetings.”
- “Theresa does not understand what her tasking is.”
- “The group does not seem bought-in to the new method.”
- “I feel a discomfort in the room about that decision.”
- “Many people look confused over that last discussion.”
- Ask an open question
Toss it back to the meeting leader or the person in question. Let him process your observation.
- “What is the root issue here?”
- “What would be some ways to eliminate that lack of understanding?”
- “Is that the way you see it too?”
- “Can someone articulate what is not working well?”
- “What steps do we need to revisit for clarity?”
Read Painful Meetings – Round 1