June 17, 2014
Your level of assertiveness could be categorized as FIERCE! You’re a lion.
OR … Your level of assertiveness could be seen as TACTFUL! You’re a puppy.
There is no wrong approach if it is your style. There’s only “too much.”
In other words, your assertiveness level has an appropriate level, whether fight or flight. The trick is not to take it to an extreme, at which point it is likely to backfire.
Where’s the tipping point?
1. Call upon your self-management to make this work for you. Here are a couple of communication tips that can help:Use what I call the 2-Channel Technique. Listen on one channel to what you are hearing come into your head. Listen on the other channel to what is coming out of your mouth, as if you were the listener.
It’s a simple approach and takes a little multi-tasking, but in this smart-phone-buzzing, ticker-on-the-screen-bottom, background-interruptions world, you have become pretty good at using multiple channels.
From those inputs, decide if your level of assertiveness is working.
2. Let silence take over occasionally. Patience and steadying yourself as quiet will calm your inner Buddha (ahhh). Use that time to assess your assertiveness. See more about managing your state of mind.
2. Know your body language. Increase your awareness of how your body may be sending unintended messages. Are you pointing your finger when you talk? If so, you’ve increased the perceived level of assertiveness. Are you leaning back or avoiding eye contact? Then the opposite of assertiveness is happening. You may be sending the message of avoiding.
Okay, Grasshoppa … now out you go into the world to try this out!